i'm emilija.

i want someone to tell me why

i’m so happy and so sad at the same time…

Leaving Florence in an hour and taking a train to Rome!

Updates tonight hopefully…

what i really want

I haven’t been honest with myself lately. Basically, I’m being such a pushover. I know what I want out of the different facets of my life, but I’m not vocalizing it. I’m “settling.” Begin: vague tangent.

I want to feel appreciated. I want to feel like I’m something special to you. At the end of the day, words don’t mean anything. It’s how you ACT upon those words, those feelings that matter. I’m not asking for a million dollars. I’m not even asking for $5. I’m asking for you to show me how you feel. Prove to me this is good, this is right.

Take a picture of my smile. Tell your friends how happy you are. Think of every single thing I’ve done with you on my mind and try your best to just do one little creative thing.

You got off so easy. You never won me over. You never swept me off my feet. I’ll say it: you’ve taken me for granted and it’s not fair. It’s gotten to the point where I constantly think about everything else I deserve better. All I’m asking is that you noticeably try. 

Sure, it’s sweet to hear “you fight like a married couple.” But wouldn’t it be nice to be as smitten as a dating couple?

when i wrote a song about one of my high school boyfriends,

…i said:

he was always tearin’ me down

just so he could be the one to build me back up

he’d hold me close and whisper something about love

when i think about my life now, there’s not a whole lot of being “built back up.” sometimes i think i need to reconnect with my high school self. just for the little things.

written one year ago today

maybe i need someone who likes the exact same musicians i do

maybe i need someone who won’t make fun of me for every habit i have

maybe i need someone who will hold my hand in public

maybe i need someone new

maybe i’m not supposed to be with you

Things my boyfriend has said to me in the past hour

“You are a facebook douche!”

“Watching you try to work a spoon is amazing.”

“You are an evil bitch.”

“Please don’t talk in your sleep tonight.”

“I love you.”